"‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless. The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’"
photo by Isabella Connelley
I have come out of my seasonal depression...I feel glorious.
After just a week of sunlight on my skin and eating mostly fruit, I rolled myself out like a blank, pale parchment ready for colour and whimsy and new stories.
Most of my life is delightful right now, and I am working my way to making the less desirable parts more in line with my true needs.
Life is always delicious, though, even in the gloomy parts.
For me this is a landscape and a time to bank up courage in a craven heart, to carry a greater fund of joy into the next cloud of sorrow, to learn even to love sorrow for the pleasure it divides, like the black notes on a keyboard, or hunger between meals. Perhaps even to discover that pain and pleasure, since they cannot exist without each other, are really the same thing.
- Ted Simon (Jupiter’s Travels)
Boredom is a completely foreign concept to me...well, not completely. Standing around doing nothing at my old job was so boring it was physically painful (not exaggerating) - the reason being that it was "the new way." For me, life is all about movement, whether it be physical or mental. I need to be occupied, by tasks, projects, books, art, people, animals, exercise - anything but the monotony of a prescribed, unmoving lockdown. Life moves...it needs to. It just does. So I am the same.
Speaking of projects, I have finally completed the zine I wrote in 2005. It is in the works of being printed. I am really proud of it! 70 (half page) handwritten and illustrated pages.
Now that I have discovered more ways to be healthy and vibrant, I will be posting much, much more.
I have kept to a raw vegan diet because of the ecstasy and loving energy it brings me, yet something was still missing after a couple of years. Lots of sun (I am going to travel somewhere warm every winter, I promise this to myself, even if it's California), B12 sub-lingual liquid methylcobalamin (stay clear of the cyanocobalamin - and take it whether you are omnivore or herbivore), eating mostly fruit (more on this later), always sleeping when tired (instead of fighting to stay up later - I always feel like I am missing out on something), and a length of time off. I have had 2 months mostly work-free (I do love my part-time raw-food job!), and I am ready to work again, this time somewhere I love and cherish (I used to love and cherish my old job, but things changed drastically!) - I have a particular one in mind that I desire SO much, so think good thoughts for me!
Until next time!